Relationships

Life revolves around relationships. No woman or man is an island. If they are, they'll probably soon end up deserted by everyone but themselves (e.g. Howard Hughes). We desperately need relationships to exist. Yet we can be terrible at them. We make mistakes, say things we wish we didn't, don't say things we wish we did, hurt, get hurt and then try to start all over. There are some basic things we need to learn or we will continually set ourselves up for failure in relationships. The most important is the "give to get" principle. If you have questions about relationships, you need to start here.

"Give to get" simply means this: the primary motive in most relationships is to give something of ourselves so that we will get something from someone else. This spells trouble! It goes like this: you give me what I want, and I will give you what you want. It almost sounds good - kind of like fair business practice. But fulfilling relationships are not a business. For as soon as one person doesn't meet their end of the bargain, the other has to make-up up the difference. Depending on the depth of the relationship, that "make-up the difference" thing may work for awhile, but if things don't change at some point, failure is inevitable. This is probably the #1 contributor to divorce.

There is a better way. It is called the "get to give" principle. It works like this: our primary objective is to give of ourselves because we are already got, instead of giving of ourselves to get. In other words, when we can approach a relationship as an already filled person, we can look to give to the other person instead of looking to them to give to us. And the coolest thing is this: when we can do that, we end up getting even more in the process! But the success of this principle is predicated upon one thing: we have to be filled before we can fill. And while there are many sub-par substitutes, there is only one place to be truly filled. That is through God. This is how Spirituality fits into all the relationship issues. If you don't quite get the spiritual thing yet, I suggest you go to that section before you continue on with these more specific questions (Spiritual Issues):

• How do I make a true friend?
• How do I find a Spouse? 
• What's a good perspective on dating? 
• How do I know if she or he is the one? 
• Any ideas on engagement?
• How do I get through those rocky years? 
• What do I do if I think I married the wrong person?
• What about all the abortion controversy?
• Any thoughts on divorce and remarriage?
• What are the keys to raising kids?
• How do I heal my broken heart?
• How do I care for my aging parent(s)? 

Please click on the topic of your choice (not yet published if it does not link) and if you have a question that is not here, email us and we would love to respond!

[Relationship Issues | Work Issues | God Issues]